So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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