ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I am spending my child support on dildos
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
