I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Your cock deserves a montage
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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