She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
