Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Randomize