The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
