are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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