I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
