Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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