Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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