At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
