Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
