we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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