I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
