if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
