i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
