My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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