I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
