Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
