I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
