the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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