Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
