i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Actions speak louder than pants.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
