$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
