Grow some girl-balls and come out already
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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