I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
