HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
