I got chris browned last night
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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