I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize