dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My dick has a subreddit
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
