Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
