Plan B is the new Plan A
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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