I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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