This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He literally asked permission to hit on me
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
