apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
