is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
