I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
