yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
