Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
