You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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