i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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