You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
