so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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