Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
