also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
