We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
