Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
