Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
