You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
