if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
