I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
COCAINE IS GR8
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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