i just had sex bonerless
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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