Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
