HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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