I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
