Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
