Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
