do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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