How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We had to coat check the pizza.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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